October 2020 - The KeepWell Mark Wellness Roundup

Overcoming Setbacks : Making Adversity work for you

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, do not turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” - Michael Jordan, winner of 6 NBA championships with the Chicago Bulls

 
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Covid-19 has presented us with many setbacks in 2020. It continues to, on a personal and professional level – like the rocky bridge in the image included. However, whilst these instances of challenge could knock us down, we must look at them as periods to strengthen our resolve, build resilience and grit - and learn from them. To support our wellbeing, we must understand what role setbacks can be viewed as, and how to turn them into a potential positive learning and developing experience. Adversity could be opportunity in disguise, something to forge a stronger mental character. Some people even argue that growth happens where adversity starts.

Setbacks are usually part of the course to success, high performance, and wellbeing in any field of endeavour – look up people who have been successful, and there are usually stories of struggle to have been overcome (mention to Arianna Huffington). The key is to understand that whilst setbacks are not what we want the resilience and mental fortitude we build can help us face the next attempt or challenge, in a better frame of mind. Ken Robinson, he of the famous TED talk, once proclaimed that “if you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original”. It takes courage, perseverance, and steadfast determination to keep going when facing a setback or an obstacle blocking you. We must be mentally resolute.

The ability to adapt and pivot your strategy when a setback occurs is massively important and another example of resilience and toughness. I once interviewed an avalanche and mountain rescuer named Jake Hutchinson, who said to be like “the limber pine”, in essence to be malleable to situations that you may face when tested. Setbacks happen – expected and unexpected. Adversity happens. But it is how you adapt, be agile and move forward when facing them that is crucial for positive headspace and success. Never mind survival.

Jocko Willink, former Navy seal, shared a story recently about a former roommate. This roommate said to Jocko during hell-week that “I’m falling by the wayside”; this means he was quitting, and he did. Those words are strong. There is a stigma attached to the word “quit”. Watch that language manipulation. Do not quit. View setbacks and tough times as part of the course and learn from them. Be resilient. It is vital to be successful and vital to be well.

High performers constantly learn. They crave learning; it’s an insatiable thirst that never ends. They keep hammering away through the rocks of uncertainty. The San Antonio Spurs, of the NBA, have a mantra for rugged persistence called “pounding the rock”, mirroring a rock and chisel they display in their training facility. Keep hammering away even if setbacks happen. Eventually the rock will break. Things will happen. Remember what Thomas Edison once said: “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work yet”. He went on to invent the lightbulb. That is quite a story of overcoming a run of setbacks and heartache. He learned and made adversity work for him in the end. You can too!

Reflections

  • What has been the biggest setback I have suffered in the last 6 months? Describe what happened and why it happened.

  • How did I adapt and respond to this? Did I reflect on this setback? What was my instinctual reaction? Did I critically appraise the situation considering my biases?

  • How would I approach things differently if I could change anything? What lessons can I take from this experience to increase my likelihood of satisfaction and success next time around? Think of your process. It is important to recognise that this is how we learn and the ability to adapt, be resilient and have grit (to stay the course) is vital for our wellbeing.

  • How do you front up to adversity? Build that self-awareness and self-education. Understand your self-talk dialogue. Be open and transparent – show your vulnerability here. See setbacks as opportunities to grow and develop. Feed that growth mindset.

“If you’re not failing, you’re not pushing your limits, and if you’re not pushing your limits, you’re not maximizing your potential.” - Ray Dalio, author of ‘Principles’.